


Who said that Lake Houses were for Snooty Rich People?

by DittyWitty



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: 4th Wall Breaking, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Aunt May is a little shit, Aunt May is low-key a match maker though, BOXES, Beaches, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Broad City mentions, Confessions, Cooking, Cuddling, Domestic Fluff, Edward Cullen territory, Fluff, Jealousy, Like a bit to much tbh, Love Confessions, M/M, MJ is just rude, Making Out, May is a bad bitch, Mentions of Sex, Mentions of Water sex, Misunderstandings, Moving In Together, Mutual Pining, POV Alternating, Peter is a Little Shit, Pining, Sappy Shit, Self-Esteem Issues, Sexual Tension, Sharing a Bed, Summer Vacation, Swearing, Uncle Ben is mentioned, Vines, Wade is a little shit, Watching Someone Sleep, Water, White doesn't want to be here and Yellow just likes to fuck with everyone, abuse of parentheses, alot of toothbrushing, arrested devolpment quote, author doesn't understand penises, author is now dead bc this fic sucked the life out of her, author is surprisingly sober when writing this fic, cottages, house rules, i tried to write smut but I couldn’t bring myself to do it so a make out scene is all you get sorry, im so tired im untired, im trying my best here give me a break and ur kudos, lake house, like so much fluff, no actual water sex though sorry, not yet at least :), they aren't even dating though, they're just so clueless, unreasonable amounts of staring, wade has a short attention span, wade just kind of touches peter's while he sleeps
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-06
Updated: 2018-08-02
Packaged: 2019-06-06 03:53:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15186182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DittyWitty/pseuds/DittyWitty
Summary: When MJ ditches Peter for their yearly bro-trip to Aunt May's cottage, Peter takes Wade along instead.Pretty Bad Idea (capitals needed) considering Peter was head over heels in love with the guy.





	1. A Grinch wearing a Mask, holding a gun

“Sorry Pete, I just can’t afford to take off time right now. I used my vacation days when I visited DC with Gwen.”

MJ said apologetically and Peter deeply sighed. It was that time of the year, the _3 damn days_ where he didn’t have to worry about his Spider-Man duties (Matt always covered him) and could just be with Aunt May.

After his parents passed, they had left a small lake cottage for Peter. Located in bum-fuck nowhere, Wisconsin. His aunt and uncle would've sold it, but it just didn’t feel right. Not that they would get much money from it anyway. So now Aunt May was living in it by herself, getting along nicely with her neighbors.

It was on a joined lot, shared with other cottages. Most of them run down and old, just as their own. It was like a second home to Peter and the quality of the house didn’t ever feel pretentious, which was comforting. Yeah, it was kind gross; but he was kind of in love with the place.

The air there smelt so clear and beautiful compared to the city air he was used to.

The water kind of gross too, but he still swam in it, even if there were nasty seaweed and fish. Did he mention the beach was incredibly small? That didn’t matter though.  
It was big enough for him. He couldn't really complain about the place even if he tried, it just held such a special place in his heart. 

The small house created a closeness that brought him closer to his aunt, physically and mentally. The domestic feeling of the place made him smile, he could see himself introducing his future spouse to the plane, taking his kids for a vacation during the summer. He would be lying if he said Wade Wilson wasn’t in that daydream.

He could see it, Wade and him. Spending nights there doing innocent and not so innocent things. Spending their honeymoon there, the idea of a wedding band on Wade’s finger made his heart leap. Eventually bring their adopted children to the home as well. Cooking the kitchen with him; pancakes obviously. Lying on the beach, basking in the sun with each other. Introducing him to his neighbors at the lake, participating in the annual Fourth of July bingo session. They wouldn’t judge him for his scars, and they would lose in bingo; duh. But still would smile and hold each other’s hand the entire night.

  
Yeah, Peter was a loser. Don’t remind him.

  
So, maybe he had a bit of a crush on Wade Wilson, or Deadpool as most knew him as. He was a sap, what could he say?

When they had first met, Peter was… not a fan. Somehow Deadpool (as he knew him at the time) convinced Spiderman to join him on patrol. Somehow. Peter still didn’t really like him, but when he warmed up to the man their patrols ended up going much smoother; them being in much more in sync with each other.

Soon after they would start to become closer, sometimes Wade would bring tacos or sushi, ( _hey! Can’t a guy eat some sushi every once and awhile!)_ they ate together on the rooftops, yet Wade (as he now knew him) requested that they sit back to back so that Peter wouldn’t see his “ _accidental acid avocado-ass face, Oo look at that! An alliteration’_ ” he was fine with it, he could respect Wade’s wishes. At first. Then the heat of the other man's back on him was too much for his stupid, smitten heart to handle.

Mainly because he had developed a crush on the guy. 

It had developed over time, little things sprinkled here and there of Wade Wilson; helping children who had just been saved by the pair, giving the homeless some of his tacos. Watching movies together and feeling the heat of the man pressed against him on his side. The way the laughed together and could just _be_.

It also didn’t help that 1) Wade flirted with him _nonstop_. Even if he didn’t mean anything by it; which kind of hurt by the way. And 2) Wade was ripped as fuck. lean muscles and his height, a strong jaw that he had observed in his peripheral and _totally_  doesn't fantasize about while he jacks off. He had heard that the man was scared, but he hadn’t seen them (at the time); it couldn’t be that bad.

  
When Wade finally moved his mask up to his nose to eat, he had seen the scars. They weren’t bad at all. Actually, he kind of liked them

“Kinda gross isn’t it? I-D-K thought that it would be weird have a friendship with someone without them seeing my face. But... I’m just not ready to show my whole face, okay?” He said as he rolled his mask up to his nose. F _riendship, ouch._ Peter thought to himself, yet regardless smiled, his masked already rolled up slightly, for they were eating tacos on a Bank of America rooftop. He put a hand on Wade’s shoulder, only slightly freaking out by the way he didn’t flinch and how Wade _relaxed into his touch_.

“Thanks, Wade. This means a lot to me. I get it. It takes time, don’t worry about it. I’ll wait.” Wade smiled back and Peter thought it was the most beautiful thing had he seen. He couldn’t stop himself from telling him so.

“You have a really nice smile, you should show it more often.” Wade’s jaw dropped and turned his head away, attempting to hide his a blush. Luckily for Peter, it didn’t work. _Huh, didn’t peg him for a blusher._

When he had revealed his identity to Wade after a year or two of being friends with him, the reaction was… confusing.

They had just finished patrol and were sitting on a random rooftop in Queens, not too far from his small apartment. Wade, of course, was babbling about one of the movies they had just seen together.

“Are we hanging out tonight after patrol?” Peter said awkwardly, not knowing how to start the conversation.

“Well, duh,” Wade said with a smile, he had taken his mask off a while ago. Which Peter really liked, but also kind of really hated. It was getting harder and harder to not kiss the shit out of him.

“Oh okay good. How- how bout we got to my place this time?” Wade’s had snapped so quickly Peter was worried he hurt his neck. They had never had hung out at Peter’s apartment before, secret identity reasons of course. 

“Are you sure?” Wade said softly. Was he sure? Yeah. Was he scared?

Double Yeah.

-  
Peter stood in his living room with a (maskless!) Wade there with him. He looked down at his Spiderman mask feeling the texture of the spandex material. He couldn’t really look at Wade. He was nervous, okay? He had just revealed himself to the guy he _totally_ wasn’t in love with. ( _‘I don’t know how many times I have to tell you MJ, I am NOT in love with him!’ ‘Oh Yeah, totally.,’_ ) There was a part of him, that was scared Wade wouldn’t hit on him anymore (he liked the compliments, sue him) and Wade would be disappointed, the ‘ _totally banging body_ ’ (Wade’s words) would match his boring, dorky face. (Peter’s words) He knew he wasn’t ugly, just not a banging hot guy that Wade was probably expecting. His boring brown eyes, his nose was slender but had a bump in the middle. His unruly curly brown hair and freckles. _God! My Mr.Potato Head-ass wide face. I know it’s just bone structure, but still!_

“Holy shit! Are you legal?” Peter’s head shot up, meeting his gaze. It was filled… admiration? Huh.

“I’m twenty-three, asswipe” Peter smiled. Wade pretended to wipe some imaginary sweat off of his forehead,

“Phew! So I can say how fucking hot you are! Damn baby boy, you are so damn cute!” Before he could disagree, Wade’s arms wrapped around him and pulled him into a tight hug, they were pressed against each other and Peter totally didn’t inhale his scent.

“Thanks,” Wade muttered against his hair. Peter smiled. They pulled away from each other, much to Peter’s dismay.

“No problemo.”

“The fact that you just said “problemo” is the cutest thing since kitten season.” Peter blushed. This was something he could get used to. Being around him, no mask of barriers. It would be hard to hide his blush though.

“What’s kitten season?”

“You don’t know what kitten season is! I have to show you! Like _right now!_ ”

  
-

“It’s all good MJ, don’t sweat it. There’s always next year! I’ll just ask someone else to come with me.” Yeah, Peter was disappointed, but it’s not the end of the world. He has… other friends, right?

Not really.

He just has MJ, Ned, and Wade. The Avengers and other supers were not really people he considered as friends. Sure, they would do that saving the world Jazz, but none of them knew his identity, nor did they _know_ him.

“You know, you could always ask Wade? We both know Ned can't come. You don't really have any other options.” MJ suggested for Ned was staying in Hawaii with his girlfriend for the summer. Peter pondered the thought for a bit. Sure, it would be a big step from just watching movies together and Wade sleeping on his couch, to introducing him to his aunt and sleeping in the same house together.

“I don’t know… what if he doesn’t want to?”

“Don't be a little pussy Peter, your balls dropped like 10 years ago. You don't really have any other excuses for being a pansy bitch. And It doesn’t hurt to ask!”

“Fuck you! You may be right but fuck you anyway. Fine, I'll ask him." 

-

Peter decided to call Wade because he’s a coward. If Wade told him no, at least it would be over the phone. He stared down at his phone, his finger hovering over the ‘call’ button. He finally pressed the ' _stupid, anxiety-inducing button_ ' and heard it ring, almost zoning out. It rang a total of 3 times.

“Hello?” Wade's voice rang through his ear, snapping him out of his daze. He a cough,

“Hey! Wade, it’s Peter.” Peter said awkwardly.

“I know baby boy, I have caller ID. I’m not a complete savage.” Peter laughed.

“You sure about that? You dip your pickles in peanut butter.” Wade scoffed.

“uh, RUDE,” Wade said mock-offended.

“Yeah, yeah. Hey so uh, you know the trip I’ve talked about for like _ages?_ ” Peter started awkwardly, and Wade hummed a yes.

“Yeah so, basically I usually bring a friend, most of the time it being MJ, but she couldn’t get off work. So do you want to join me and my aunt? It’s okay if you can’t or don’t want to I just always bring one and honestly it would be kind of boring with just two people, not that my aunt is boring but- Do you want to come?” Peter said awkwardly, mentally and physically facepalming. _Nice going Parker, real smooth._

“Is that even a question?! Of course, I’ll come! I mean, you’re aunt won’t mind right? Like does she know..”

“That you used to unalive people? No. She doesn’t know I’m Spiderman either. So just keep it on the D-L. And if it’s too much to ask..”

“No mask?” Wade finished.

“Yeah.” Peter breathed, nervous.

“Uh. Sure. I guess we don’t want to scare off Ms. Aunt May Parker.” Wade hesitantly and gave a nervous laugh.  
“Really? That’s… I really appreciate that. Thank you.”

 “Hm. Anything for you baby boy.”

After Peter had gotten the phone with Wade, he sent the man a quick text recapping what they had just discussed the trip along with the flight information. He was really excited to spend a couple days with Wade (3 days to be exact), being around him 24/7. He would even be sharing a bed with the other man, for there were only a queen and a twin in the cottage. That, however, was a very risky situation, especially if he wakes up with a boner. Which is a very likely situation.

Maybe he’ll just sleep on the couch.

  
-

  
By some miracle, Wade managed to get a seat right next to Peter. Peter stopped the Lyft at Wade’s apartment (even though it cost him extra) and reached his door. Before he could even knock, the door swung open revealing an unmasked smiling Wade.

“Hey,” Peter said with a soft smile on his face.

“Hey, baby boy,” Wade said back. They stood there for a few seconds silently and Wade coughed. Peter snapped out of his daze.

“Sorry. I’m still tired from last night's patrol. You ready to go?” Wade nodded and grabbed his duffle bag. He put his hold up as he left his apartment and locked his door. The paid walked out together side by side, close for comfort. For two friends, they made a lot of physical contacts. Not that Peter was complaining. They hopped into the Lyft and were driven towards JFK, talking about nothing and everything.

They checked in and went through security, even though Wade was not happy about having to take his hoodie off. Peter gave him a reassuring touch to that. Yeah, people were staring. So was Peter, but only because Wade was wearing a tight shirt underneath that showed his muscles in _all the right ways._ They grabbed some overly expensive snacks and waited by the gate.

As it turns out, Wade hates planes. He was getting increasingly more anxious the closer they got to take off. As the flight attendant was giving the safety briefing that no one listens to, Peter laid a hand on Wade and gave him a sad smile.

“You doing okay?” Wade looked over to him, panic in his eyes.

“No, but I’ll be okay. I just don’t like the taking off and landing and turbulence part, and literally every part of it, but I’ll be okay. I think. Yeah. Just, I need to just listen to music. I just.. then we can watch a movie.” Peter nodded and listened to his own music. A couple of minutes had passed, in Peter’s peripheral, he saw Wade just staring at him, most likely just listening to the boxes or zoning out. He wishes he could look at Wade. He wished he could just look at him, take him in. Not that he hasn’t tried, Wade just always catches him staring and it’s really fuckin awkward.

Wade’s leg was bouncing a million miles a minute, and as the plane was taking off his eyes were shut, hard. Peter just took his hand and rubbed circles on his gloved hand, trying to comfort him. _God, you’re clingy._ He thought to himself.

After the plane was at a steady angle, Wade had seemed to have calmed down. When he opened his eyes Peter quickly retraced his hand, not wanting to make things weird. _You kind of made it weird, but whatever,_ He thought to himself. Wade gave him a sad look and pulled out his phone, handing one the earphones to him. What had just happened was just forgotten, or just ignored. They watched Hot Fuzz on Wade’s phone, sharing a pair of headphones and getting nice and close to each other. It was nice.

  
-

Just like the takeoff, the landing was just as difficult for Wade. This time, _Wade_ was the one that grabbed his hand. He squeezed It tight and didn’t look at Peter.

The landed and grabbed their bags from the overhead section, waiting for people to stop being slow and move off the plane. When they finally reached the inside of the terminal, Wade put a hand on Peter’s chest, stopping him from moving forward. He gave him a worried look.

“Do you think your Aunt… is she gonna you know..”

“My Aunt would _never in a million years_ judge you. I talk about you like, _all the time._ Wade, she’s not like that. You don’t have to worry. Now, let’s get the fuck out of this airport. I’m getting tired of the air in here. It’s cramping my style.” Peter started to walk towards the exit.

“The fact that you just said “cramping my style”... I’m killing myself oh my god” Wade let out a loud laughter and joined Peter. It was a small airport in the middle of nowhere, so it didn’t take long to reach Aunt May, who was waiting on the other side. When Peter saw her, he rushed towards her and gave her a bone-crushing hug, (but not actually, he could actually crush her bones if he squeezed hard enough) However, Wade just stood there very awkwardly. After pulling away from his hug, he signaled for Wade to come over.

“Aunt May, this is Wade,” Wade gave an awkward smile and waved, May smiled brightly.

“Wade! I’ve been hearing so much about you, I’m so happy you could come.” May pulled him in for a hug, Wade gave a surprised look at that, he relaxed into the hug. Peter couldn’t help but smile at the guy that he was kind of in love with meeting his aunt.

“Let’s go, this place smells like authority and air conditioning, I can’t stand it,” May said as she guided the two men with her hands. Peter let out a laugh at that and put an arm around her.

-

Unsurprisingly, May and Wade got along really well. She let the dick jokes slide, even though they accompanied by an eye roll from both Peter _and_ May. It must run in the family.

By the time they reached the cottage Peter and Wade were both pretty spent, for it was pretty late. He quickly gave Wade a briefing that he promised to continue more in-depth the next morning. He walked in the main room with Wade next to him,

“So this is the kitchen. You can cook whenever just clean it up. I mean the rest is pretty self-explanatory. Table.” He pointed to the small dining table. “Living room” Peter pointed to the room that skewed to the side of them. “Bathroom number one,” he pointed to a bathroom sitting close to the living room. “And bathroom number 2 is going to be in our room.”

 _Oh shit._ Peter stiffened. He _may or may not_ have forgotten to mention the whole bed sharing thing. Oops.

“So uh, there’s only two bedrooms, one with a twin and another with a queen. Aunt May snores so if you don’t care, I mean I can sleep on the couch if you want it’s not a big deal or anything-“ Wade put his hand on Peter’s shoulder as if to shut him up, smiling softly at the brunet.

“Peter, you’re rambling. It’s all good with me, I mean c’mon! Sleepover time! We can braid each others hair, talk about boys!” Wade then sniffed the air, “Is that a,” more sniffs, “A PEDICURE I SMELL!” Wade yelled which Aunt May and Peter both plugged their ears at the abrupt yelling. Peter laughed and punched his shoulder lightly,

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Wade,” Peter said as he walked towards their room, duffle bag still over his shoulder, wade following him of course. Peter opened the door to his room and quickly settled himself into the room. Besides the queen sized bed, there was only a small nightstand and a 2 drawer dresser. Wade instantly flopped on the bed and quickly said: “I call right side!” Peter rolled his eyes at Wade star-dished on the bed. He put his clothes away and made way for the bathroom attached to the small bedroom, to see that Wade was already by the sink brushing his teeth, already changed into literal Spiderman pajamas, ‘ _of course he has PJ’s with me on them._ ’ Peter smiled to himself and shook his head, also a bit bitter that he wasn’t getting any money from the merch that had his literal alter-ego on it, not that Wade didn’t look good in them, he looked like a damn snack.

“Skooch.” Peter tapped Wade’s side and ran his toothbrush under the already running water. He tapped it off after he was done with it.

“Don’t leave the water on, we have a septic tank. Also, 2 pee’s before you flush. We gotta save water around here.” Peter said nonchalantly as he applied his whitening toothpaste, wishing his teeth were as white as Wade’s. Wade made a face at the newly introduced rules, which Peter rolled his eyes at,

“Yeah it’s gross, but so is _literally everything_ around the place. Welcome to Wisconsin.” Wade shrugged at that and shooed Peter away from the sink and spit, then rinsed out his mouth. He exited the bathroom and flopped on the bed (once again) and browsed his phone. Peter closed the door and quickly changed into his own PJ’s and exited the bathroom, turning off the light and closing the door. The bedroom was dark and if it weren’t for the spider bite, he would have tripped.

Multiple times, probably.

“Hey,” he whispered as he crawled under the covers,

“Hey” Wade mock-whispered, to which Peter rolled his eyes.

“I’m trying to be sentimental, asshole.” He play-shoved Wade, and continued, “I just wanted to say thanks, I guess.” Wade smiled.

“I should be the one doing that baby boy,” Peter hummed.

“I guess we’re both grateful then.” Now it was Wade’s turn to hum. They laid there for a couple of seconds, looking at each other when Wade shoved his phone in his face.

“Watch this fucking [video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ZxFgRk4u9M), you need to do it like _right now._ ” Peter inched closer to the man making sure both of them could see the screen and played the video. 7 seconds later they were both in tears, Peter now on the floor and laughing too hard he wasn’t making any sound. After a couple of minutes and a passive/not so passive aggressive text from Aunt May, telling them to “S _hut the fuck up before I go parent trap on your ass and put that mattress in the lake._ ” which Peter sent back a quick sorry and a good night. They were back in their respected positions and gave each other a quick ‘goodnight’ as well. Wade was sleeping on his back with headphones plugged in, most likely listening to ASMR, Wade had mentioned before how it ‘ _for some reason shuts them, so I can actually get some sleep without shooting myself in the head._ ’ Peter gave a sad smile at that thought and rolled on his side in a crouched position, totally not thinking about Wade as he fell asleep.

That would be stupid.


	2. The Mercenary who's afraid of small fishes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wade has a short attention span and there's a lot of staring, like an unreasonable amount.

Wade laid back on the stiff bed he was currently sharing with Peter, being very awake despite the long day that they had just experienced together. He kept on replaying the memory, the _feeling_ of Peter’s thumb rubbing circles on the back his scarred hand. He couldn’t help but shiver the thought of Peter’s hand rubbing other things.

{*cough* your cock *cough*}

Wade squeezed his eyes shut at that, trying to will away a hard on that will _most definitely appear_ if he doesn’t get his shit together.

[Yeah. Like he’d even want to touch us. It was a pity touch, my dude. I mean, you saw how he jerked away as soon as he could.]

Luckily for Wade, the boxes were a boner-killing machine that really helped not only his dick go down, but also his self-esteem!

{fr}

[did you just… say ‘fr’ instead of for real?]

{um hello!? We are boxes, text only my dude. I’m going to abbreviate whatever the fuck I want too :) }

[please stop]

{nope ;) }

Wade rolled his eyes at the boxes and looked over a Peter, who was sleeping peacefully on his back. Wade examined his face, memorizing the details of Peter’s face as if it was the first time seeing it. Even though Peter had revealed his identity to him a while ago, 6 months and 14 days to be exact, but who’s counting?

{you are, duh!}

[That’s the- it’s-, nevermind.]

Wade still wasn’t used to his _Stupid Pretty Face_. He took his earphones out, the relaxing voice leaving his ears and rested his face in his hand, propping himself up to get a better look. Wade sighed, he really was gorgeous, who wouldn’t be a sucker for him? Wade really doesn’t know how he’s still single. He watched his chest rise and fall and watched his eyelids flutter slightly. His hair, Wade would kill to have hair again. He just wanted to touch it, run his fingers through the brown curls.

{Touch ittttt!}

There was a part of him, that almost hurt to be around the younger man, he knew that Peter would, no- he _doesn’t_ feel the same way. Peter doesn’t look at Wade and feel the same burning heat brewing in his stomach that Wade feels when he looks at Peter. Peter doesn’t feel the hollow, sharp, skip in his chest that Wade feels. He didn’t blame him though, Wade wouldn’t want to be with himself either. It was nothing but a friendship between total, complete, touch-starved bro-homies.

Hand holding be damned.

It was just that Peter was just _so good_ , too good for Wade.

Wade just wanted to touch him, feel the same skin that had held his hand on the plane. So he did.

[okay, we’re going into Edward Cullen territory over here.]

{I think we’re waaayy past that}

He ignored the boxes and traced Peter’s jawline with his pointer finger, a touch so light it almost ghosted over his pale skin. It led up to his slender nose feeling the slight bump, moving over the freckles that dusted his cheeks. He slightly cupped Peter’s cheek, thumb hovering over his pink lips, not daring to touch them and wondering what they would feel like. God, he wanted him, so badly. He was so fucking in love with the guy, that if he didn’t stop caressing him, he was going to do something he would really regret. Something that would ruin what they have.

Something that would mean no more hand-holding and shared beds.

He slid his hands away from Peter’s face and got out of the bed, making his way towards the door with soft footsteps. He opened it and looked back at Peter for a couple seconds, to then closed it softly, afraid to wake him.

Wade made his way outside, the fresh air feeling nice and refreshing in his cancer filled lungs and soft on his cancer filled skin. He inhaled the fresh air and Peter was right, it did smell good. He pulled out his phone’s and turned the flashlight one, starting to walk towards the water that was already in sight. His surroundings were completely black, the only things visible being the soft grass below him and the water ahead of him. He could see the moon reflected on the lake the closer he got. He walked until he reached the border of the lake, hoping to find the beach so he could dip his toes into the water.

After a couple minutes of walking on the edge, he came across a small part of land that the water wasn't blocked off from. It was a small sand area, most likely fake sand about 50 x 50 m. (meters because fuck American measurements, he’s Canadian.) It couldn’t fit more than a couple of chairs if that. It was small, but Wade could see why Peter loved it so much. He felt the sand find its way between his toes, the small particles hurting his sensitive skin. He reached the water, which actually had a lot of seaweed at the bay. He sat down on the sand, just enough so that only his feet would be covered by the small waves.

It was nice. It didn’t stop him from drowning in his own thoughts, but the scenery was a nice addition. He kind of just sat there for a bit, tracing circles in the sand, just being.

He swatted the ruthless mosquitoes that attacked him every .004 seconds, already regretting not putting on bug spray. He partially listened to whatever the boxes were rambling about, ranging from what aliens dicks looked like and if Bruce Banner hulks out during sex. A lot a talk about dicks, that usually Wade would be all about, but his mind just wasn’t here.

{you‘re just busy thinking about Peter’s dick, so technically still on penises}

Soon enough Wade’s eyes were starting to feel tired, the boxes were begging for him to just go back to bed because they were ‘ _too tired for this angsty shit_ ’. His body felt heavy as he pushed himself up and was still in a daze the whole walk back. He tried to convince himself it was because he was just tired.

{More like tired from LoOoOvVe}

[How does that even make sense]

He crept into the bed he was sharing and closed his eyes, hoping to fall asleep. He didn’t even give Peter a second glance.

It hurt too much.

-

The springs from the queen-sized mattress awoke Wade from a very _X-rated_ dream he was having about Peter riding him into next Tuesday. It also has seemed to have woken up _Deadpool Junior._

{THRILL DRILL, all caps!}

[That is technically the name we decided on.]

{Yeah! Get with the program!}

[I like ‘Free Willy’ better, but whatever.]

Lucky Peter had already left the situation and was in the bathroom, and Wade hoped to fucking god that he hadn’t seen Deadpool Jun- _The Thrill Drill._ He sat up and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, and willed the erection to go away.

[I don’t think the writer lady knows how erections work]

{The REAL issue is why you’re trying to make it go away, You should waltz into that tiny bathroom and beg for a blowjob, Porno Style!}

Wade ignored the boxes and thought of the time he walked in on Al wearing _nothing_ but a juicy couture zip up. He shuddered at the thought (not the good kind).  
He got up to brush his teeth, not really caring that Peter was in the bathroom as well, but the shower was on so Wade was sure he wouldn’t mind. He was also hoping he would see him naked, but no one has to know about that wish.

The borderline screech that was let out was an indicator that he did, in fact, mind.

“Wade! I’m in the shower!” Wade rolled his eyes, smiling.

“Oh please, I can’t see anything and my mouth feels like there's something in there and it’s about to kill me! I can feel it!” Wade said in a mock damsel-in-distress tone, followed by choking noises.

“You can’t die.” Peter deadpanned, his voice bouncing on the wall.

“Well, you always say that 'just because I can’t die doesn’t mean it still doesn’t hurt.'” Wade said in a high pitched tone, imitating Peter's voice.

“Touche.” Wade pulled out his toothbrush and started brushing away. Soon the shower had been shut off, yet Peter didn’t step out. Wade exited the bathroom, giving Peter some privacy and continued to brush his teeth over the kitchen sink.

[So... where was all that ‘respect of privacy’ last night?]

“Shut up,” he muttered to himself and finished up, washing away the spit. He walked back into the room to see a wet, half-fucking-naked Peter, with only a towel to cover himself. Wade knew he was staring, but he had never seen Peter show so much skin. Not that he was complaining though, he was gorgeous. He had a six pack for dayz, though that was something he had, in fact, seen while he was patching him up after rough patrols. He heard a cough from Peter that tore his gaze away from his 10/10 rockin' body to his _blushing_ 10/10 beautiful gorgeous face. A face that would never love his -1,000/10 mysterious meat face.

“ _So!_ Wade, we’re goin’ to the beach today so, wear swim trunks, I guess. Do you want anything for breakfast?” Peter asked abruptly yet softly. Wade smiled,

“I’ll make pancakes.” He made a 180 and turned towards the kitchen, to meet a sleepy May.

“Good Morning Wade. You want anything for breakfast?”

“Morning. I’m actually thinking of makin’ pancakes if that’s alright with you.”

“Sure, less work for me. I’m gonna make some coffee though, you want some?” Wade hummed a yes and started cooking.

-

As it turns out, May is so fucking cool, like _really fucking cool_. 10/10 would bang and hang out with.

He, of course, being the idiot that he is, said as much. May laughed it off, while Peter, however-

“Oh my _god._ ” Peter gritted his teeth and facepalmed.

“Oh please, the Parker family is filled with hot bods and you know it,” Wade smirked and took a fat bite of his pancake. Peter, who has always been the fast eater of the bunch, had already finished. He rubbed his face and got up, collecting the empty dishes _INCLUDING WADE’S UNFINISHED PLATE._ Wade moved to grab it, but of course, Peter has his fucking spidey sense and dodged it.

“HOW DARE YOU! Never touch a man’s food.” Peter rolled his eyes, his beloved pancake already in the trash.

“Never tell a man’s aunt you would have sex with her, at the fucking dinner table.” Peter said as he rinsed off the dishes, in which Wade stared at the trash can longly, “my baby…” he whispered.

“Boys..” May muttered as he got up, shaking her head, she continued,

“I’m going to head down the beach, I’ll see you both there, and wear sunscreen! I really don’t want to hear you bitch and whine tomorrow..” She said as she went up the stairs towards her room. Then, she yelled from the top of the stairs, “And bug spray!” Peter laughed,

“Not that they’d be able to bite me, with my spidey sense.” He started to walk towards the room,

‘ _And I’m too ugly to bite!_ ’ he thought to himself, and with Peter’s sharp turn he realized he may have said that out loud.

“You’re not ugly Wade, and even if you were, which you’re NOT. It wouldn’t matter, looks aren’t everything.” Peter frowned and walked into the room.

[Easy for him to say, he’s like, hot as fuck.]

{Which is what we’re not! Hey, that rhymed!}

[It just like, didn’t. At all.]

Wade walked over to the trash can and picked the pancake out, and took a fat bite out of it. He threw it away and thought to himself, well, ' _no one has to know that I just did that.'_

{Yeah, but we know! Ha Ha, you can never escape us!}

Yeah, don't remind him.

-

After Peter left their room already dressed {Lookin’ like a damn snack}, Wade quickly changed into swim trunks and a loose t-shirt, not wanting to be too exposed.

When he walked out of the room, Peter was looking at him, almost staring. Scratch that, he was _definitely staring_. Wade instantly felt self-conscious, he slouched at the sudden attention.

“Sorry, I’ll uh, put on a hoodie.” He started to make his way back towards the room when he felt a hand on his shoulder, he flinched at the touch, but relaxed after a second.

“No! Sorry, I didn’t mean to stare, it’s just… you look _good._ ”

Wade’s mouth was on the floor, and Peter’s hand was still on his shoulder, moving down to rest on his bicep. It felt like it was burning on his skin.

[Um.. what the fuck?]

{lol wyd Peter…}

[please stop, I'm being you]

{ :) }

“Oh. Uh, thanks.” Peter smiled and grabbed some sunscreen from a draw in the living room. He walked outside and Wade followed, grabbing bug spray from the same drawer. Peter applied it onto himself, so Wade took this opportunity to stare at him, and also apply bug spray.

“I can feel you staring, creep. Spray my back?” Peter smirked and turned around, arms out in a T pose. Wade flushed and squealed, “sure!”, to which and he coughed and repeated it. He sprayed Peter’s back and rubbed it in, feeling the silky skin he had felt the night before.

“Kind of strange to call someone a creep and then ask them to rub sunscreen on your back.” Peter chuckled at that and Wade felt the vibrations on Peter’s back.

He sprayed the legs and his arms but left Peter to rub it in. Wade applied the sunscreen to himself and gestured for Peter to do the same to him. He practically melted into the touch, the feeling of those hands did things to him. Peter grabbed two towels and smiled at him,

“C’mon, you’re gonna love it.”

-

Wade didn’t mention how he had already been there, so he said a quick,

“Nice.” he nodded his head, Peter looked at him strangely and laughed.

“You don’t have to pretend to like it, Wade, it’s pretty gross. I still love it, but it’s still pretty gross.” Which he wasn’t exactly wrong, there was a small wooden shack next to the beach that looked as if it was about to collapse, cobwebs practically covering it. (‘ _look, it’s you!’ Wade exclaimed in which Peter elbowed him, hard._ ) There was seaweed everywhere, and the water was the same color as the radioactive water in _Fallout 4_.

[Not all the readers know what the fucking color of the water in a video game is, dipshit.]

Oh, right. It was brown. May was already there, with a rake in hand, combing the seaweed out of the water. She saw them and waved, “Hi boys!” they smiled and Peter went into the shed and grabbed two beach chairs. His nose was crinkled (adorably so,) when he walked out and he stated that it "smells like piss in there.” That was a theory Wade was in fact, not willing to test.

Wade went to grab a rake that was leaned against the shack when May swatted at his hand.

“It’s your vacation, relax! I got this.” Wade opened his mouth to reject, but May shushed him,

“I don’t care, sit in that lawn chair or else.” She pointed to a lawn chair that was right not to Peter.

{Kinky.}

[Why are you like this]

He plopped down on the lawn chair and was immediately really fucking hot sitting in direct sunlight with a thick shirt on. Peter was sitting down peacefully, head gazing up towards the sun. He looked really fucking sexy, with his stupid sexy 6-pack and sunglasses.

“You can take it off, you know. We don’t care.” He said without looking at Wade.

“At least buy me dinner first.” Peter rolled his eyes and took off the sunglasses to look at Wade in the eye. The dark brown eyes were filled with so much passion and Wade didn’t know how he felt about them.

“You wish.”

“Don’t you know it,” Wade smirked. Peter put his sunglasses back on and headed for the water, grabbing an innertube on the way.

“Your funeral.” Wade took off his shirt and followed Peter into the water, feeling rocks and seaweed touch his feet and ankles as he entered. _Ew._ Peter was lying on the inner tube, relaxing peacefully. Wade decided that Peter lying down peacefully was not going to do. So of course, he had to go under the water and flip him over. Peter let out a squeal along with the obligatory “Wade!” When he came back up with a devilish smile on his face, (a very sexy one)

“Oh, you’re going to regret that.” and pounced. They wrested for a bit, Peter trying to push him down by putting all his body weight on his shoulders, obviously not using his full strength. They splashed each other for a bit when Peter attached himself to Wade and pulled, finally getting him underneath the water. When he came back up, Peter was still attached and it was like time froze. He was looking at him again, the same look in his brown eyes from before when he was staring at him. It was driving him crazy. Wade’s eyes were just looking at his lips, he was ready to go in, when something slimy and scaly and _most definitely a fish_ brushed against his calf, in which he gave a squeal that pushed Peter off of him.

“A fish!” he jumped up onto Peter’s innertube, holding on for dear life. Peter a first gave him a weird look, but shook it off and gave a smile. Wade almost fucking kissed him. _Fuck_ , he thought to himself.

“You’re a literal _mercenary-_ ”

“Ex-mercenary!” Wade interrupted, Peter rolled his eyes.  
  
“You’re an ex-mercenary. You’ve taken on literal supervillains and you just squealed. At a small fish.” Peter smiled, again.

“Hey! Everyone has their character flaws! Now protect me! I can’t take on these vicious creatures.” Peter grabbed onto the tube and pulled him to shore,

“Pussy.” He muttered. Once to shore, they grabbed their towels and joined May, who had set up her own chair and was now laying in the sun. She asked them if they had enjoyed the water, which Peter responded with,

“Yeah, until Wade had a little incident with a fish and is now scared to go back in.”

“Pussy,” May responded, and Wade was starting to like her more and more. Wade let the sun dry him off when he decided he was bored and sat in the sand, and started to bury Peter’s feet.

“That tickles.” He said when he touched his foot. Wade ignored the comment but still made tiny efforts to brush his hand against his foot every once and awhile. After the foot was successfully buried, he worked on his own sand castle, sitting in a comfortable silence.

[Why is that sentence always used in fanfics. We hate silence.]

{rt}

[Stop!]

After a while, Peter joined him, “You are literally 5 years old.” He started to work on his own castle.

“You love it.”

“Yeah.” was his only response. They sat there and worked on their castles for a while, conversing in playful banter and whose castle was better. (Spoiler alert, it was Wades, though Peter would object.)

Soon enough, they called it a day and washed off the sand on their bodies in the lake. Wade slipped his t-shirt back on, and they walked back, leaving May behind, who wanted to stay in the sun longer. Wade didn’t want to be in the sun for too long, for it irritates his scars at times.

{It also makes them grosser}

[That’s not a word.]

{Except, it totally is}

On the way back, they admired the scenery, bumping shoulders, their hands brushing against each other every once and a while. They stopped once to talk to one of the neighbors, and of course pet their very fucking adorable dog, Oliver.

“You guys make a cute couple!” in which Peter got all flustered, and Wade laughed anxiously, giving a short, “Uh, we’re not a couple.” they laughed as well and smirked at them. “Hm. Our bad.” They reached the house and Peter made a PB, no J ( _‘jelly is gross fight me.’ ‘who’s the five-year-old now?’)_ by that time May had returned, making her and Wade a hot dog. Wade purposely ate pickles with peanut butter, because it makes Peter laugh. Even if Wade hates the taste, it was worth it to make Peter laugh. They ate outside and felt the breeze that graced them.

Then they watched _Broad City_ , laughing their asses off and pointing out Wade’s resemblance to Ilana, and Peter's to Abbi.

Wade made tacos for dinner, and then they played Texas hold’em. May won, surprisingly. Peter lost and he was a sore loser at that.

For the first time in a while, Wade felt like he was at home.

-

Wade crawled into bed that night, joining Peter who was still watching Broad _city_. Wade joined him and got nice and close to him. It was nice. They watched until they couldn’t keep their eyes open, tired muscles and close contact included, and finally fell asleep.

Yeah, He could get used to this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took a 'Dick Name Generator' using Wade's character and got Thrill Drill. Which surprisingly fit really well. Sorry this chapter took so long, I was on vacation and I've been working my ass off at my job. Plus depression sucks.
> 
> Anywho, Leave me some comments, it really helps motivate me! 
> 
> For Updates and other random shit, follow me on tumblr: DittyWitty


	3. The infamous Parker Family Smirk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "'I’ve never… felt this way before. The feelings I have for Wade, It’s just unlike anything I’ve ever felt. I’m so in love with him and I don’t know what to do.' Peter said, staring down at the bacon, not daring to look Aunt May in the face. He already put his heart on his sleeve, for the first time admitting out loud how in love he was with Wade."

When Peter awoke the next morning, he felt a warm body pressed against his back and scarred arms draped over his torso. The heavy, slow breathing almost being relaxing enough to lull him back to sleep. Wade was asleep, or Peter assumed so. The only way to check would be to turn around, but he _really_ didn’t want to disturb him, for obvious reasons.

He took the scared hand draped over him in his hand, rubbing circles on the back of it the same way he had on the plane. It was kinda creepy, like total Edward Cullen territory, but if Wade would do it, then so could. Peter shuddered at the memory of Wade tracing his finger over his face, at the way he pretended to be asleep so Wade would keep touching him. After he had slipped away, he left Peter with one of the most painful hard-ons he ever experienced in the history of the entire world.

Okay, maybe he was exaggerating. The point is, he was very aroused.

So, that night while Wade was outside doing god knows what, Peter went into his bathroom and came with Wade’s name on ghosting in his breath.

It’s just that Wade gets to _touch_ and _stare_ at him. Yet when Peter does the same, he takes it the wrong way, becoming self-conscious. When he came out of their room with those stupid swim trunks and stupid t-shirt, showing his toned fucking legs, and his biceps. Who wouldn’t stare? He kept on the shirt at the beach in the 90-degree weather, yet when they went into the water he took it off, and _hot damn_. Peter had never seen him without a shirt on, even though the suit didn’t leave much to the imagination but it did leave _some_ things.

Being here with Wade and Aunt May, the two people he loved the most, (with MJ, Gwen, and Ned coming to a close second) was just so nice. Wade was just so good, _too good_ for Peter.

Peter wouldn’t want to be with himself either.

Sure, Wade thought he had a nice body, but that was where it stopped. Right?

Though Wade caressing his face when he thought he was sleeping kinda disproves that statement. It was getting harder (heh, hard) and harder to convince himself that Wade just _didn’t_ feel the same way. Maybe he should make a move, you know? Just kiss him and see what happens. it could possibly ruin one of the most important friendships that he has right now, but would it be worth it?

He doesn’t know.

However, Wade caressing Peter's face two nights ago gave him some confidence.

So now he’s just staying their bed, feeling his scars and _loving_ them. He just wishes Wade would love them too, he sees how it destroys his self-confidence. He doesn’t want Wade to feel that way, ever. After a while, Peter stops, for it was getting kinda creepy. He heard a grumble from behind him, causing vibrations to transmit throughout his body.  

“Why’d you stop?” Wade said and pulled him closer. Peter turned around and smiled, he started to reach out to caress his face, to lean in towards him, his face tilted and smiling brightly. Then Aunt May busted through the door,

“Good morning sunshine!” She moved over to the bed and Peter quickly turned around to face her, detaching himself from Wade sitting up. May went in to kiss his cheek, to which Peter wiped it off after, and May gave a mock pout.

“Any special requests for breakfast? I’m probably going to make some eggs ‘n bacon. Peter, why don’t you come and help me?” May said in a tone that screamed ‘ _you don’t have a say in this situation_ ’ Peter nodded, “Sure,” a bit nervous for what would soon take place.

May turned to Wade, who was now sitting up as well, watching them with nervous eyes.

“Don’t worry Wade, I bought the Official Canadian Maple Syrup, just for your Canadian heart.”

Wade gave a confused face to this, “Wait, how did you know I’m Canadian?” May gave a smirk,

“Peter talks about you all the damn time, I never hear the end of it from this one. I’m surprised I don’t know your blood type.” She walked out of the room and Peter quickly followed, his face now sporting a bright shade of crimson. As Peter exited the room, Wade sat there in shock for a brief moment, and then went up to brush his teeth.

-

Peter really wanted to just scream, at the top of his lungs until people in fuckin Illinois could hear him. He almost _kissed_ Wade. Scream from happiness or embarrassment, he doesn’t know. He walked towards the kitchen, May looking at him with a smirk, whisking the eggs like a goddamn pro.

“You wanna start on the bacon?” Peter nodded and grabbed the bacon out of the fridge, getting started on cooking.

“Also I’m doing no cheese with the eggs this time, you’re old Aunt May's stomach can’t handle the loss that would come from dairy.” Peter nodded, still in a silent shock from the moment before. Aunt May just kept on talking, filling the silent air around them.

“So, Peter, when were you going to introduce me to Wade, you know... formally.” Peter gave a confused face at that, not following,

“What?” was all Peter could muster up.

“... as your boyfriend? It’s pretty obvious, I mean you guys make sex eye’s at each other like all the time, you were _cuddling_ on the couch last night. You don’t have to feel ashamed about these sort of things,” Aunt May said softly, and Peter’s jaw was on the floor, was he really that obvious? He was pretty sure he was going to die from embarrassment the second time today, and he’s only been up for ten fucking minutes.

“What, no- Wade’s not my boyfriend! Why does everyone think that?” Peter somehow manages to refrain from stuttering, yet he still sounded very alarmed.

“So you guys aren’t a thing?” Aunt may then comically sipped coffee from her mugged and walked away with a judgemental smirk. She went back to the eggs and poured it in an already prepared pan.

“No, we aren’t,” Peter said sadly.

“Would you like to be?”

“Yeah," 

"Just yeah? It doesn't feel like a 'yeah' situation." she pressed for more information.

"It just- I’ve never… felt _this way_ before. The feelings I have for Wade, It’s just unlike anything I’ve ever felt. I’m so in _love_ with him and I don’t know what to do.” Peter said, staring down at the bacon, not daring to look Aunt May in the face. He already put his heart on his sleeve, for the first time admitting out loud how in love he was with Wade.

Before he knew it, May was wrapping him in a tight hug that radiated love and care. She pulled away and looked him in the eye, filled with a sadness he couldn’t place.

“Treasure it, Peter, what you feel is so rare. Hold on to it and never let it go. Even after what happened, I still hold on to that flame, the fire that burns inside. Sometimes I think that he can still feel it.” May was tearing up, and Peter pulled her in close.

“I will.”

-

Wade had walked into the room a couple minutes later, swim trunks and a t-shirt that said: ‘I survived my trip to NYC’ Hold up-

“Is that my shirt?” Peter asked, and thought to himself, _first off- he looks hot, second off, he better not get a stain on that shirt._ Wade looks down,

“Well, duh. As a full-blooded Canadian living in New York, I kind of have to. I mean, Petey you grew up in Queens. So not exactly a 'trip.'” Peter rolled his eyes at that.

“ _Sure._ ” He said sarcastically, “Just don’t get a stain on it.” He continued. Wade put his hand on his chest and gasped in a mock offensive.

“Me? Never!” Peter laughed and in his peripheral saw Aunt May eyeing them with a small smile on her face as if the intense conversation they had about love hadn’t just happened. They sat down at the table, eating with playful banter and Peter sneaking glances at Wade. He had never seen Wade maskless for this long, so of course, he was going to savor the shit out of it. 

“So, boys. What time is your flight tonight?” Peter’s face sunk at that. Oh, right. They were taking a red-eye tonight, for Peter had to work tomorrow morning at 9. With the flight being around 3 hours and plus the maybe 2 extra hours of sleep he would have; he was going to need a lot of coffee tomorrow morning.

“I’m not sure, I think it’s maybe 11? Lemme check though.” Peter pulled out his phone and there was a brief moment of silence while he checked.

“uh… okay! Found it. It’s at 11:30. So we should probably leave around... 9:30?” Peter asked the two.

“Yeah, that sounds good.” Wade chimed in, with May wearing a sad look on her face that left as quickly as it came.

“Of course sweetie. Now let’s make the most out of this day. The lot is having a bingo-fest by the lake. We should, actually- _we are_ going. Non-negotiable. Sorry.” May said with a smirk.

“What time?”

-

Turns out they had about an hour before the bingo-party, although the ‘party’ is kinda lame, Peter enjoys being around his part-time neighbors. They’ve known him since he was little, some of them even came to the funeral, well, _funerals._

With the hour they had left before the party, they quickly packed and then headed to the beach, it only being a 5-minute walk away. Aunt May decided to stay back to help set up the tables, though he thinks that her staying back has more to do with their conversation from earlier.

So there they both were, on a small beach in the middle of nowhere; just Peter, Wade, and the mosquitoes trying to suck their blood. Peter realized at this moment, that they have never been _completely alone_ like this. Sure, they hang out in each others apartment’s all the time, but that’s in the city, where you’re never truly alone. It was a feeling he could never get enough of, it was intoxicating. _Wade_ was intoxicating.

Peter was sitting out in the water, lying on an innertube and soaking up the sun. He was _totally_ not staring at Wade.

Okay, maybe just a lil’ bit.

After a part 2 of rubbing sunscreen on each other's back, a scene straight out a porno (minus the blow jobs, unfortunately) Peter just couldn’t get the feeling of Wade’s hand rubbing sunscreen on his back, with his soft touch and rough texture, out of his head. Not that he was exactly trying to. He would occasionally sneak “glances” (that’s what he calls it in his head because they were totally not _just_ glances) at Wade sitting on one of the beach chairs, his whole chest visible. It wasn’t just his body that he was staring at, it was just that he looked so peaceful. Every once and awhile he would frown, most likely from something the boxes said, but it was still a rare moment, to see Wade completely silent, to see something so _raw_.

He was quite drawn to it. So drawn to it, that he went back to shore and sat with Wade, who smiled instantly when he saw him.

“Hey baby boy, W-Y-D” Wade smiled and Peter’s heart just did a total Corbin Bleu.

“Uh, what?” Peter looked over at him, and Wade just laughed, like really hard.

“Phew, oh my that was a good laugh. Basically yellow’s been using abbreviations like 'lol' and 'fr', and white _hates_ it, so I thought I’d try it and annoy him because he’s been a real dick lately. Well, he’s always a dick, but you get the gist. But now he’s yelling at me, saying some really mean shit. I’ll B-R-B” Wade got up abruptly and grabbed the shirt that was lying with his towel. He put it on quickly and Peter frowned.

“Okay, backsies!” Wade said in his ‘ _I’m feeling like shit but I have to cover it up!_ ’ voice.

“Hey, I got a special message for White.” Wade looked at him funny, but smiled regardless, already knowing what was about to go down. Wade nodded and motioned for him to continue.

“T-B-H F-U U S-O-B, G-T-F-O,” Peter said and after a brief pause, and they burst out laughing.

“Is he annoyed?” Peter asked with a smirk. Wade just kept smiling.

“Yes, he is very annoyed. Though Yellow is just swooning because you messed with White and no one does that. And by no one, I mean me. Yellow likes you, a lot.” Peter blushed at that and hoped Wade would just pass it off as the sun, but he, _of course, didn’t_ and pinched Peter’s cheeks.

“Ooh! You’re just so cute! Blushing baby boy.” which Peter turned a darker shade or red and Wade squealed at that and pinched harder. _Ow._ Peter practically had to pry Wade’s fingers away from his still flushed cheeks.

“Yeah, totally.” Peter looked away and stretched out his limbs, tired from the sun. “Ready to go? The ‘party’ starts soon.” Peter got up and looked to see Wade _staring_ at him. When Peter turned around and grabbed their towels and gave Wade his, he was _still staring_ at him. Peter blushed and coughed, and Wade seemed to snap out of it, he mumbled something along the lines of ‘ _sorry, its- you know..._ ’’ as they got up and left the beach. They quickly got home and changed, and Peter tried to hide his disappointment when he saw Wade exit their room wearing jeans, a hoodie, a baseball cap, and gloves. They walked towards the cluster of fold tables and middle-aged people, with the exception of a few others (though Peter was always the youngest, to his distaste). Unfortunately, Wade had to cut his story on the “shower shitter” at his old summer camp, to be introduced to his neighbors. Most of their names he knew, a couple he had forgotten. Wade kept his head down and most of them gasped when they saw his scars, only a couple hadn’t shown any reaction. He could see Wade crumble a little bit for each and every gasp.

It made Peter want to punch them in their stupid faces.

There was one person however, that seemed to show a huge interest in Wade. A romantic interest, it seems, with the way she was all over him. She made a point to sit next to Wade at their bingo table and touch him every chance she’d get.

Peter remembered her from his childhood. Peter and Natalie (that was her name, right?) would play at the beach a lot along with someone the other kids. After he turned about 14 and Uncle Ben died, they stopped playing with each other. Not for any bad reason, they just grew up and hung around others. Peter gravitated towards Aunt May and grew apart from the other kids on the lot. He liked it that way.

Now he was kind of mad about it. Yeah, he’s being jealous over someone that wasn’t even _his_ to begin with. Sue him.

Yet she’s touching his muscles when she laughs in a nonchalant way that is totally _not_ nonchalant. She laughs at his jokes and she cracks a few, and Wade seems to be eating it up.

“Hey, I think you got something on your face,” May whispers as she creeps up to him, interrupting his inner brooding. Peter feels around his face,

“What? Where?” He asked, still feeling around.

“Right here... “ she points to his heart. “It’s just a bit a jealousy, let me grab it,” she says as she pretends to pick something off his shirt, and laughs. Peter breaks into a smile at that and starts to engage in a conversation with Aunt May, even if he’s a bit sad that his best friend is choosing someone he just met, over him.

That someone being a gorgeous, blonde, tall girl who Wade seems to like, a lot. Maybe Wade didn’t feel the same way Peter felt after all.

-

It was about 5 in the afternoon by the time bingo was done, and Peter was already feeling better by spending time with Aunt May. Wade was still talking to him of course, though Natalie was still coming on to him every 3 fucking seconds. Peter fucking crushed it at bingo, and Wade wasn’t paying attention enough to care. So while Aunt May and Peter cleaned up one section of the tables, Natalie and Wade helped with another. It kinda stung that Wade wasn’t helping him.

Okay, maybe more than _just_ kinda.

At least he got to spend more time with Aunt May before he left for New York, and he was having such a good time with her. She always makes him feel so much better. Now that’s he’s an adult she dropped the whole ' _I'm just a sweet aunt who never curses and love baking and laundry!'_ schtick (though she does still love baking and she is still the nicest person in the history of the entire world) he feels even closer to her. It’s fucking great.

Soon enough him and Aunt May had finished cleaning up, and Peter got a chance to observe Wade from afar this time. He was laughing, though the smile he was giving her was not the same one he gave Peter. She was touching him and practically _no one_ got to touch Wade, so why did she? He couldn’t stand to look at it anymore. He was happy that Wade was happy, so why did it hurt so much?

Probably because Wade was ditching him for some girl he'd just met.

Or because it felt like maybe that after all, Peter as important to Wade as he thought.

Peter quickly grabbed Aunt May and told her he was going back to the house, feeling the tears on the verge of appearing. He really didn’t want to do it in front of a bunch of people he didn’t really know, more so he didn’t want to cry in front of _Wade._

Aunt May gave him a sad look and a reassuring touch when she saw the tears forming in his eyes. He walked home as quickly as he could without making a scene. After what felt like more than just the 5-minute walk it really was, he finally crept into his bed and just let the tears fall. He was holding onto the love he felt for Peter, just like Aunt May had told him too, and it _hurt._

It didn’t help that _their_ bed smelled of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol you know i had to do 'em
> 
> hope you guys enjoyed! leave me some comments, it really helps to motivate me. 
> 
> also i know i kinda re-used the last line from my other fic, but i can do what i want (plus I hate that fic so it was kind of like re-purposing (?))
> 
> Send me some prompts on my tumblr: dittywitty


	4. The epilogue to end all epilogues (except, not really.)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's exactly what the title says.

After about 7 minutes of blonde bimbo {is that offensive? don’t wanna offend our readers, gotta get those kudos!} trying to get into Wade’s pants, [for some reason] he’s was pretty over it. It didn’t make sense, he’s certainly not attractive and the girl didn’t even know him. So what gives?

[I think that she’s just one of those girls who leads people on to make herself feel better.]

{yeah! Attention whore!}

[see, now that is, in fact, offensive.]

After the 37th touch on his bicep and 14th shameless sex eyes she threw his way, he was fed up. For starters, it seemed to be that Peter was over and done with the whole situation, for, he was having a conversation with May. It was almost worth it to see him all jealous over the situation, it didn’t sit right with Wade that for a second Peter didn’t think that Wade wasn’t his.

[Did you ever think that maybe he doesn’t want you to be his?]

{I mean, C'mon! After you fucking molested him with your eyes, it makes sense that he now wants nothing to do with you.}

[Being exposed to your scars also probably had something to do with it, as well.]

It sucked that Peter was so busy ignoring him that he didn’t see Wade rejecting the girl. Right as Natalie was about to “””””” _nonchalantly_ ””””” touch his arm, he caught it loosely without any force.

“Look, I’m flattered that you’re interested, I just got eyes for someone else.”

[biggest understatement of the year, but sure.]

{It’s just so funny that you think that’s going to go anywhere! Have you looked in the mirror lately?}

“Oh- uh, my bad.” Natalie stuttered awkwardly, which was a reasonable reaction after getting rejected by someone like _Wade._

[So a crazy, ugly, freak?]

{You’re like a -1,000000,00000,000}

[That’s.. not a number.]

{That’s not the point! He’s ugly!!!!!!!!!!}

[Were the excessive exclamation points necessary?]

{ ;) }

“It’s okay, you’re not a mind reader. Or maybe you are, who knows with day and age.” Wade lets out an awkward laugh, trying to break the tension.

“Not a mind reader, though I don’t know what I would do with myself if I was, people are pretty fucked up.” Wade can’t help but flinch slightly at that.

{Just like you!}

[I’m pretty sure we’re apart of that equation.]

“Yeah, that’s true,” He says in a way that is nonchalant [A Lot of usage of the word nonchalant] {Doesn’t the writer lady have access to thesaurus.com?}, to not show off his anxiety from the statement. The looks she returns let’s him know that he failed at that.

-

Wade finally shakes Natalie off, not that he didn’t enjoy her company, he was just scared of losing Peter. Scared that Peter wouldn’t think that Wade cared about him, he knew how Peter got sometimes.

Here's the whole sha-bang, Peter was very... insecure, a lot of people left him, voluntary or not. When Peter finally opened up to him, it was like a dream come true. So of course, he was going to remember every detail. High school left a mark that he had never seemed to shake off, and Wade just wished that he could just see how _amazing_ he is, and how much people love and care for him.

After darting his head around, he failed to find Peter, much to his avail. Wade did, however, find May. She had a look on her face, distant and sad. He approached her, tapping her shoulder. She turned quickly and greeted him with a smile that made his heart warm up.

What else could he say? May was fucking awesome.

“Hey, Have you seen Peter?”

“He’s back at the house. He said he wasn’t feeling good, I don’t know. Probably swallowed some of that lake water”

{He should have been swallowing this dick! Thrill drill, mother fucker!}

[Why... are you like this?]

“You should go check up on him, make sure he’s okay. I’ll right behind you, just gotta do a couple of things here first.” She said with a warm smile, them both knowing she was choosing to stay behind to give the two some space to work shit out. 

“I’ll let him know.”

-

While Wade made the short commute back to the small cottage, his mind was racing. He had a feeling he wasn’t just feeling sick. He couldn’t help but feel like it was something he did.

{It was probably from seeing you without your mask for so long! If I had a stomach I would feel sick!}

  
When he reaches the home and opens the back door, seeing that Peter wasn’t in the common area. He goes towards the room to open the door when Peter opened it before him, their eyes making contact briefly before Peter quickly turns away.

“Hey, you doing okay?” Wade said softly, Peter still not making eye contact with him.

“Yeah, I’m doing alright.” he continued, asking how Natalie was and such, his tone sounding off.

{Is that bitterness I hear?}

[We don’t have ears.]

“Oh, blonde bimbo? She’s okay, I rejected her and she seemed confused on why _me_ of all people were rejecting her. You were too busy being jealous to notice.” Peter made a face at that, blushing and walking away towards the couch.

“I wasn’t being _jealous_! I just wanted to spend some time with my aunt, sue me.” He said all flustered, desperately trying to hide his blush, a task he so often failed at doing.

“Maybe I will!” Wade smirked, joining him on the couch and Peter tensed. A brief silence passed between the two, tension filled the air and further confirmed that something was wrong.

{Ew, silence.}

He searched for something to break said silence with, but the first time in a while he failed to do so. It was Peter who did so first.

“Where’s aunt may?” He asked, _still not looking_ at Wade.

{He’s so CUTE! He still calls his Aunt May, Aunt may!}

[It’s almost like, she’s his Aunt]

“May said she’ll be back in a few minutes, just doing a couple of things first. What’s for din-din?” Wade asked, desperately trying to spark a conversation. _Silent Petey is the Worst Petey,_ he thinks, and for once the boxes are in agreement.

“Uh, not sure. You can choose.”

“Contrary to what most of my readers think, I don’t only eat tacos. Actually, that’s a complete lie, it’s basically all I eat. What I’m saying is, I can whip up some burgers, if you want.”

“That’s sounds good.” Wade walked towards the kitchen and started prepping for the Deadpool™ {Ew, go back to tumblr} Style Feast that was about to go down. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Peter walk out of the small living room, coming back with a crochet needle and yarn. To say that Wade was baffled was an understatement, he was fucking amazed at the wonderful, wholesome man in front of him. Crocheting! Of all things! In Wis-fucking-consin!

“O-M-G! Are you… crocheting? When the fuck did you learn how to do that, and how did I not know about this! Can you please please _please_ make me a hat, this bald head gets cold! I’m like a sphinx cat. Meow.” He’s practically jumping now, like a small child.

“Never meow at me, like ever again,” Peter almost commands him, still focused on the piece and not looking at Peter.

[Is this to balance out for the unreasonable amount of staring in Chapter 3?]

“I picked it up a bit ago, it can get kind of boring around here.” He continued.

“Forgive me for ever doubting you, but also please make me a hat. I will literally give you money! Or, even better, an arm and a leg! Literally!”

Peter gets up without a word and goes out of the room, cold and calculated. Wade’s heart almost stopped at the feeling that maybe Peter wasn’t in the mood and he messed up even more from even just talking to him, and then the ' _oh my god did I do something wrong?'_

{The REAL question is when are you not doing something wrong?}

[What he said.]

After what had felt like 5ever and more of the boxes being over dramatic, Peter finally reappears with 4 knitting needles and more yarn. The boy was full of talents, so Wade decided not to question it.

“Maybe,” Peter says in a snooty, hopefully, sarcastic voice. You could practically hear the smirk in his voice, for his back was turned towards Wade.

“Sound more like a yes to me, were the theatrics really necessary?”

“Excuse me?”

“Oh, you know. The whole ‘Ugh, Wade Winston Wilson looked in the direction of someone that WASN’T _me!_ So now I’m going to angsty-ly crochet, while also making him a hat’” he says while moving his body dramatically, going along with the words.

“Whatever.” Seems like that hit a nerve, and Wade smiled slightly at that.

The very uncomfortable silence returns and Wade has a thought and he better say it before he loses such an important one.

[A truly rare moment.]

“Do you ever knit with your webbing? I mean, have you tried? If you haven’t, can you try? These are questions that are begging to be answered Petey-Pie.” Wade says while cutting some onions, the smell of them making his nose crinkle.

“ _Jesus Christ_ , no I have not. You are very unusually focused on my webs. It’s kinda weird, Wade.” He quipped back, Wade staring at the movement of the knitting, the fabric lopping in itself.

“How could one not be interested in your _sticky fluid._ ” He quipped back.

“... I kind of put myself in that situation.”

“You really did.” Wade laughed and returned to cooking.

After a couple of minutes, May enters the small living room and greets the two. She asked how they were doing and they both replied with a quick ‘Good’ even though it was very obviously not the case. She joins Wade with the cooking, and they fall into a quick banter.

They sit around the small dinner, keeping up in friendly banter, even though Peter remains weirdly silent. Neither of them decides to comment on it. After busing the table and cleaning up, Wade catches Peter slip outside, walking towards the lake. It was strange, for it was about 8:30 and they had needed to go soon.

Something was off.

So, that was when Wade decided that enough was enough, and followed him. Silent Peter was the worst Peter. He trailed behind him, moving slowly and enjoying the scenery.

What? He wanted to give the guy some time alone before he rudely interrupts his angst-time. This was probably the last time he was going to see the place, so sue him for wanting to look around for a little bit.

The path Peter took was towards the beach, but Wade found him sitting on a wooden bench facing the lake, it being placed just to the side of the small beach. The strange part was that he was talking to himself. Huh.

“I guess me talking to myself has really rubbed off on you,” Wade says from behind him as he moves to sit next to Peter.

{That’s not the only thing rubbed off on Peter.}

[That doesn’t... Make any sense...]

Peter flinches and turns back at him.

“I’m not… talking to myself. I’m, _ugh_.” Peter seems gives up on words, or maybe just forgot the English language, Wade guesses and he turns back facing the lake. They were both silent for a few moments before Peter speaks again.

“He would have really liked you.” He says, and Wade snaps his head towards Peter, whose face was now dusted with silent tears.

“He?” Wade said in a soft voice.

“My uncle. He would have really liked you.” Peter is clearly spaced out, his eyes were… distant.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” He pauses for a minute. “His ashes were spread here. He loved this place. I… I wasn’t talking to myself, I was talking to him. I know he can’t hear me, but It feels right, I know it’s dumb, but…” He blinks and more tears trickle down his face, painting it with a vulnerability that Wade had never seen before. Something so _raw._

“I miss him a lot,” Peter says and Wade doesn’t really know how to respond. He didn’t really miss a lot of people in his life. Not that he didn’t have any at all, he just didn’t have a lot. I mean, what was he supposed to say?

[How about, “I’m sorry about that.” or “I love you so much It feels like I can’t breathe.”]

{Yeah, can we _please_ get this fanfic moving along!}

“It was my fault you know? _I should have been there._ I wish I could say ‘well rationally, it would have happened no matter what.’ but that’s just not true. He was looking for me, he died because of my stupid fucking decisions. People get hurt all the fucking time because of me, and I just- can’t do anything to stop it.” Wade’s mouth is open, he knows what Peter is feeling, he knows because he himself has felt that way before. But he… god if Peter could just see how fucking amazing he is. He can’t save everyone, no one can. But that doesn’t mean he’s not of the best superheroes out there.

“.... god I- I know you may not believe me when I say this, but I’m going to say it anyway, I mean shit, baby boy You’re fucking _amazing_ , - you’re doing so many good things now. You’ve done so many good things for me, you gave me something that no one has ever given me. _a chance_.” Peter was looking at him weirdly now, his eyes filled with an intense passion that Wade almost couldn’t bare but kept because that look was something he was falling more and more in love with.

“I never got to know him, but I know he would have been proud of you, I know I am,” Wade says, because, it’s the fucking truth.

Before he knows it Peter is fucking kissing him. Peter! Of all people, kissing! Wade fucking Wilson! So, of course, he freezes pulls away like a fucking idiot, _becausethisisnothappeningrightnowholyfuck._

“Wait, what the fuck?”

“Oh shit, I’m so sorry I didn’t even-” Wade presses a finger against his lips.  
“No it's not that, I’ve been wanting this for years, don’t get me wrong, it’s just like… how.” it wasn’t a questions

“What? Me having feelings for you?” Peter cocks his head to the side, not following.

“Yeah! That!” Wade says exasperated, pointing at Peter.

“Do I really have to lay it out for you?”

“Yes, please stroke my ego.” he continues “and my cock.” Peter rolled his eyes at that the latter comment.

“Later Wade,” Peter dismisses, and Wade gestures for him to continue. Because he kinda needs to hear this, _right now_.

“I don’t really know if I can really put it into words, I just-. I mean, it’s just so easy with you, you get me? I mean you just, you’re so good. You’re just, fuck, Wade you’re just so- ugh, I wish I had a word for it.”

“You can show me instead,” Wade says with a smirk and pulls Peter in for another kiss, a real one this time. It gets a bit heated when Wade pulls away,

“let's not do it in front of poor uncle ben. Care to take it to the lake?”

{Is this a form of voyeurism?}

[Other way around, and no it isn’t, you fucking disgusting person.]

{Well jokes on you, I’m not a person! I’m letters on a screen.}

[You’re an asshole.]

{Suck my 8====D ;) }

“I’m pretty sure there are so many diseases in that lake, I don’t really want them in my asshole.” Peter yet another eye roll, so many eyerolls.

“Someone’s getting ahead of themselves.” Wade raised his eyebrow, laughing. Peter shoved him at that, because, rude.

“Oh, Yeah, says Mr. _‘i like to touch people’s faces in their sleep_ ’” He retorts sarcastically, because how could he not.

“You were awake!?” Peter nodded, and Wade groaned, tipping his head up at the sky. “Holy fuck, I’m gonna kill myself."

{Finally!}

Peter shoots him a look, “not actually Petey-pie. Don’t worry your pretty little head.” Peter sticks his tongue out at that. “So, no go on the water sex?.”

“No go, Wade, my uncle's ashes are in this lake,” Peter says as he stands up, holding out a hand for Wade to grab.

“Right.” And, course he made fucking finger-guns at that, being the idiot that he was. He takes to hand and Peter pulls him up, and damn this feels good. Their fingers being intertwined. It’s so fucking cute and domestic and- god. He could get used to this.  
[Real smooth Wade, you’re a keeper.]

They walk back holding hands, soaking up the scenery around them and each other in a way they hadn't allowed themselves to do before. They reach the cottage after a couple minutes, unfortunately. If it were up to Wade, they would have been there a lot longer, and also be having sex right now, but beggars can't be choosers.

Aunt May's waiting for them on the couch, reading Amy Schumer's _"The girl with the lower back tattoo."_

[Well, we can't all be perfect.]

They let go of each other's hands at the sight of her and look at the time, both disappointed at the fact that it's time to go. They shuffled into Aunt Mays beat-up Subaru, and Wade goes in the back, and Peter goes to follow when Wade cuts him off,

“Not so fast mister, I’m not anyone’s chauffeur, so sit in the front. You can sit with lover boy later.” Wade laughs at this and Peter blushes, going into the front seat with shame. Aunt May plays 80s music and Wade sings along,

They board the plane, and Peter holds his hand again, and his leg doesn’t seem to move up and down as fast.

-

They decide to crash at Peter’s because even though it wasn’t closer, but Peter had work in the morning. He kinda needed his shit. By the time they reach his apartment, they're spent. It’s been a long and even though it was mostly a good day. Still tired regardless. They collapse in their bed on their respective side, Wade on the right and Peter on the left. Wade brings peter towards his chest and rest his head in the crook of Peter's neck and kisses it.

“Now all the touching doesn’t have to only be in our sleep or on planes.” Wade laughs at that, and kisses his neck again, drifting off to sleep.

Peter wakes up with Wade playing with his hair, surprising since it was 8 in the morning, Peter is resting on his chest his arm slung over his shoulder.

“Hey, baby boy.” Peter smiles and pulls him in for a kiss, he smiles, yeah he could get used to this.

“How’d you sleep?” Wade asks him, pulling him in closer.

“I slept alright, it helped that I had a very sexy heated blanket with me.” Peter rubbed circles on Wade's chest, feeling the uneven yet surprisingly soft skin.

“Is that all I am to you? A blanket? I’m wounded.” he says in mock offensive and peter rolls his eyes and pulls him in for a heated kiss.

“I got to go to work soon. You wanna make me some pancakes?”

They hang out in the kitchen and wade feeds him pancakes as if it's the only method of getting the said pancakes. (or at least that's what he said.)

“I’ll be back to grab my stuff to bring back. Patrol tonight?”

“Anything to see your cute face.” Peter blushes at that, even if they were kind of a thing, he can still blush. Sue him.

-

Wade's on Peter's mind on him the entire day at work, and on his lunch break him and MJ meet up at a coffee shop, to catch up.

“Peter!” MJ yells in the sandwich shop at him, she had never been on to care about what people think.

“Hey MJ, how has everything been? The city hasn’t fallen apart yet, right?”

“You were gone for three days Peter, everything was all good. But the real question is, how was your trip with Wade.” she gives him a waggle of eyebrows, and Peter blushes at that.

“It was good, like really good.”

“Y'all finally fuck?” She deadpans, and Peter chocks on his coffee and coughs profusely.

“Jesus, no. We didn’t. I mean we did kiss though. On the bench.” MJ knew all about _that_ bench.

“You subjected your poor Uncle Ben to that.” Peter flinched at that and MJ quickly apologized, and Peter waved her off. She motioned for him to continue.

“It’s hard to explain everything. The trip just brought... a lot of things to light.”

“So being in the middle of nowhere finally made you get your shit together?”

“I guess so.”

“You should take more time off then, from you-know-what.”

“Maybe.”

The rest of their lunch, if you could even call a cup of coffee a lunch, is spent talking about the laked MJ talked about Gwen. Even if it had only been 3 days, they still missed each other like crazy, duh.

-

After a long day of work and impatiently waiting to get home so he finally gets some alone time with Wade, he finally walks into his apartment, only to be attacked by Wade with sloppy kisses and grabby hands. Peter kisses back hungrily, getting caught up in the feeling of Wade’s scarred lips and- _oh_ , a wet hot tongue being pressed into his mouth. Peter junior has officially made an appearance and of course, that’s when Wade decided to bite Peter's lower lip and back away with a smirk painted on his lips. The lips he was _kind of in the middle of kissing_ , by the way.

“Hello, baby boy. How was work?” Peter rolled his eyes pretty hard and hit’s Wade’s shoulder playfully and gives an angry pout.

“You’re seriously going to cock block me right now? Just fuck me already.”

“So needy Petey-pie,” Wade says and pulls in for another heated kiss, not even waiting before slipping his tongue back into Peter’s mouth, exploring his mouth _in all the right ways_. They messily migrate towards Peter’s unmade bed and sit Peter down on the bed, Wade above him pulling off his own clothes, and Peter goes to do the same, but a scarred hand stops him.

“Let me do the honors, please.” Blue eyes now staring into Peter’s with a passion that they had exchanged on the beach the day before. Wade slowly slides Peter’s shirt over his head, kissing his way up his stomach until he reaches his soft pale neck. He sucks at him hungrily, biting down and soothing it with his tongue.

 _“Holy fuck._ ” Peter breathed, Wade now going up to meets his lips briefly before going down to take off Peter’s jeans, giving his hipbone the same treatment he had given that soft pale neck.

“Watch your mouth baby boy, God is watching.”

“I’m pretty he’s looked away by now.” Wade laughs and kisses him softly. Peter pulls away and looks him in the eyes, filled with the same passion he had looked away from in the past.

He doesn’t do that anymore.

“I love you.” Peter exhales, a soft smile plays on his lips, not even thinking about it. The look in his eyes, if that wasn’t love filled to the fucking brim, Wade doesn’t know what is. Wade’s eyes widened. No one had ever told him that, it was usually quite the opposite. And shit if he didn’t feel it in his fucking core.

“Do you mean it?” Wade looked up at Peter, the one straddling his lap and breathless. The Peter that he was so fucking in love with, and the one he never thought would feel the same.

“Well, duh” Peter rolls his eyes, and _there’s the sassy Peter I know._

Wade pulls him in for another slow kiss and pulls away breathless. Because Peter said it. Peter loves him and maybe he should pinch himself because this feels like a dream that he never wants to fucking wake up from.

“I love you too.”

“Took us long enough to admit it.”

“Well, duh,” Wade says with a smirk, echoing Peter’s previous words. Peter rolls his eyes (again) and pulls him in for another kiss, more hungrily and screaming of _want_ than before.

If Wade was what Peter wanted, that was what he was going to get.

Well, duh.

-

“So this is the infamous Wade Wilson. I’ve heard a lot about you.” MJ says with her arms crossed, looking him up and down. Which, rude. “I’m MJ.”

[Well, you’re fucked.]

{You’ve killed people and you’ll never be able to get away from that. Further ruining friendships from people you’ve never even met! Have fun impressing Aunt May now!}

“Strangely, I hear that from most of the people I meet,” Wade says with a smirk, trying to keep his cool.

[Mostly before you either kill them, or they try to kill you.]

{Either way a lot of murder. Did I mention you’re a horrible person that Peter doesn’t deserve to deal with?}

“Only good things right?” He continues, trying his best to ignore the boxes.

“Oh yeah, ‘ _Wade did this’ ‘Wade did that_ ’, I never heard the end of it from Peter, My ear and I are glad you both finally got together.” She says smile a slight smile dancing on her face, Peter groans and play hits MJ. He, of course, is blushing and he buries his head in shame.

“Oh really now?” Wade looks over at him, smiling.

“I’m in love with him, what were you expecting MJ. Do you recall you talking about Gwen for an hour before you got together? And the graphic description of your first time having sex with her?” Peter says, scowling now, almost in a sassy stance. It’s quite a comical and adorable sight.

“Michelle!” A Tall, beautiful blonde lady says from across the room. She stands up, and holds her hand out,

“I’m Gwen, MJ’s girlfriend.” Wade extends a gloved hand towards her and shakes it.

There was knock at the door and Peter practically ran to open it, revealing a Filipino man with a smile and a brown bag.

“Ned!” Peter gives him a big hug, with MJ and Gwen waiting behind him. Hugs were sent around with Wade just standing in the background awkwardly.

“Oh! Ned, this is Wade, my boyfriend.” Peter reaches out and puts his arm around Wade’s waist. Ned smiles at that, his eyes almost twinkling at the sight.

“Hi.’ Wade says, shaking the man’s hand. His stomach was doing so many flips it should try out for the Olympics.

[That one was... rough, you can do better than that writer lady.]

{This is fan fiction, who the fuck cares.}

First off, ouch. and second off, I care. (kind of.)

“Nice to finally meet you, put a face to the name. He would talk about you all the fuckin time I’m telling you." Ned says with a smile, his eyes still twinkling.

“Oh really now? You had a bit of a crush on me, [huh?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qHVo8KwT300)” Wade says, unable to get the shit-eating grin off of his face.

“We’re dating.” Peter deadpans, sitting down on the couch, burying his face in his hands. Wade heard something along the lines of “This was a horrible, terrible mistake” muffled in his hands and choose to ignore it. He was going to savor the fuck out of this.

“Still embarrassing, are you sure you’re a full grown adult?” Wade Joins him on the couch, putting his arm around his shoulder, pulling him in close. Peter connects into the puzzle piece that is cuddle position #23. (one of their favorites, and yes, they did make a list.)

“This was a terrible idea, you all suck.” Ned is laughing now, he pulls some liquor out of the brown bag, along with some shot glasses. Now sitting on the floor, he pours out some shot glasses. MJ, however, pulls out a neatly rolled joint from her bra, of all places. (Don't ask) She gestures towards Wade,

“You smoke?’

“Well-”

“-No, he doesn’t. Out the window MJ, I don’t want my apartment smelling like weed.” Peter answers before Wade could even open his mouth.

“You wouldn’t want to taint his pure image, would you?” Gwen says teasingly.

“I would never,” MJ says, lighting the joint and blowing a puff of smoke out, which, _rude._

“What did I literally just say!” Peter practically yells, groaning.

“Lighten up Peter, Up top!” Ned pops up from his seated position to high five her, and after a staring contest with Peter, she goes towards the window and blows the smoke out of the window, with Gwen next to her, keeping her company.

By the time MJ is finished, Ned has already made himself comfortable, with Gwen sitting on the couch next to Peter.

“Okay my dude, in honor of me, the best person ever, coming back from Hawaii, we are going to play truth or drink!” What followed were visible groans, but they all compiled and nodded their heads. Even if Wade couldn’t get drunk, (maybe a little buzzed if he chugs a whole bottle of whiskey, but _gross._ ) he was still going to savor drunk Peter, #7 on his list of Peter’s.

After about 27 disturbingly personal questions, which most of them Wade drank too, because, first impressions kinda matter. Most of the bunch, actually scratch that, all of them were practically on the floor from laughter from _literally nothing._

[I’m pretty sure rule #1 of first impressions is not mentioning that you used to kill for a living.]

{I don’t see how that’s not a good first impression? I mean, that shit’s badass! I’m telling you.}

“Literally how are like not drunk right now! Wade, you drank me under the table, _me!_ of all people.” Gwen slurs.

“A magician never reveals his secrets,” Wade says with a smirk.

“Illusion! Tricks are what a whore does for money!” Peter calls out, loudly and then shifts to a small _not-so-quiet_ whisper,  
“He’s just super badass, sh. Don’t tell anyone!” and then he shifts back to yelling “It’s a secret!” and then, of course, attacks Peter’s mouth and makes out with him, getting _“_ ew _!”’s_ from everyone. Which, Wade has to pull him off, shouts “cooties!”

After about an hour, Ned asks to crash on their place for he’s _“a sleepy, sleepy boy who should_ prolly _not go on the street”_ and MJ and Gwen take an uber back to theirs.

Yeah, it was a good night.

-

Peter and Wade, not owning a car, take a cab to JFK to pick up Aunt May during Christmas. Peter runs up and hugs her tightly, and Wade follows with a quick hug and ushers back into the cab.

“What’s the 411?” May says and Peter shoots her a wild look. Laughing

“What?”

“Mean Girls, Petey.” Wade nudges him. Peter makes an ‘O” face and they all start laughing.

“Seriously though, What have you been up too?”

“Not much really, I mean work is the same as it was before. Though I’m thinking of applying to Stark Internships. Maybe stop taking pictures for a Hitler look alike.”

“Oh thank god. You’ll get it. I have a feeling.” Which, who knows, maybe? Tony doesn’t know about Peter’s extracurriculars (and no, that does not include having sex with Wade. Though sometimes the activities inter-lap) So to him, Peter’s just a nobody from queens with empty pockets and a love for science.

“Knock on wood.” They all do so, even if there was no wood in the cab, though Wade fake knocked against his penis, getting a look from both Aunt may and peter in return.

“What about you Wade, anything new?”

“You know, same old, same old. Eating tacos and hanging out with darn ‘ol Petey-pie up in here. I never seem to get over that character trope. I’m also confused she even knows what that is, last time she was drunk- or maybe she was high, we never really know, she wrote how she didn’t know what that meant. But life is crazy, so who knows.”

A very weird, and uncomfortable silence passed, mostly because Aunt May wasn’t used to Wade’s schizo fucking rambles.

“...Me?” Aunt may asked, very puzzled.

“No, not you. Don’t worry about it.”

“Wade.” in the _I’m-introducing-you-as-my-boyfriend-tonight-and-i-would-appreciate-if-you-didn’t-say-shit-like-that-right-now_ voice.

“Uh, okay then,” May says, looking away and disregarding whatever the fuck just happened.

“So, what’s the plan for tonight?” May asks, desperate for a topic change, like _ASAP._

“I was thinking dinner and a movie? Maybe take out, for I’m pretty sure we’re all too tired to cook. Also, I got my room ready for you.” Peter answers before Wade could go on another ramble and further scare his Aunt,

“Oh bullshit, I’m not sleeping in your room.”

“Too bad, so sad. I would feel bad making you sleep on the couch.” May opened her mouth to object when Peter placed his arm on the shoulder and begged, “ _please,_ just let me do this.” She nodded, knowing that no one was safe from Peter’s Puppy Dog Eyes and Adorable Begging. (close but not the same as Peter’s Sexy Begging Voice.)

“So about Christmas, will you be joining us?” May gestures to Wade, who shrugged.

“If I’m welcomed, then of course. Who could resist such a man like me? Besides fools and Douchebags with a fake heart and an iron dildo.”

“What?!” May says, now alarmed.

“Oh, nothing.”

“Wade!” Peter says in a more intense version of his _I'm-introducing-you-as-my-boyfriend-tonight-and-i-would-appreciate-if-you-didn’t-say-shit-like-that-right now_ voice.

“I’m-” Wade was about to speak when the cab rolled up in front of Peter’s apartment,

“We’re here!” Peter interrupted, and muttered, “ _thank god_.”

By the time they had reached Peter’s apartment, they were all pretty spent, as JFK _sucked the life out of them_ like most airports do. Wade was already on the phone ordering pizza from the most cliched named pizzeria in the history of the entire world, while Peter helped May unpack and settle into his room. Luckily, he had taken the liberty to hide the lube and the suit at Wade’s.

Soon enough, they were all situated and eating pizza on their couch. Peter turns to his Aunt, and looks at Wade, raising his eyebrows and gesturing for him to pay fucking attention because _this is it._

“So, Aunt May. We have something to tell you.” Peter starts and reaches out to hold hands with Wade, rubbing circles on the back of Wade’s hand.

{tbt}

[Seriously? You’re doing this? Right now?]

“Wade and I… we’re dating. Here I am, officially introducing him to you, as my boyfriend.” Peter says nervously.

“Yeah, no shit.” May deadpans.

“You knew?”

{Everyone knew, dipshit.}

“Well, duh. I’m happy for you though.”

“Oh, great. Thanks.” Peter says awkwardly, running a hand through his brown curls.

“You know I’m going to have to interrogate you later,” May says to Wade, with a mouth full of pizza, which would have been gross, but it’s May.

“Well, duh. Bring it on.”

He passed with flying colors.

{I know, we’re surprised too.}

-

Wade landed a job. Not a long one, or one that involves killing someone, but like all of his jobs, they’re dangerous. So naturally, Peter is not too happy about it. Duh. The “douche-team” (both Peter’s and Wade’s words. wants him to infiltrate a Hydra base. Peter wanted to go with him, but Wade rejected,

“We wouldn’t little spider-boy to become spider bits, Peter. You have to work anyway. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine.”

“Just, be careful. I don’t like seeing you hurt.”

“I’ll come back-”

“Promise me.”

“It’s not that big of a-”

“Wade, please.”

“I promise that my Canadian body won't become Canadian bits.” Wade let out a deep sigh and kissed Peter softly.

“I love you.”

“Mh. I love you too baby.”

“See you in 3 weeks.”

“3 long weeks. Phones exist though.” He winked and walked out.

Without Wade, it was quiet. They still talked on the phone almost every night, and all that jazz. The mission was going well apparently, and Peter was glad to spend more time with Ned and MJ, it came with a price, but he missed seeing them as much. His bed felt empty and he was always a bit surprised when he wakes up without the feeling of Wade.

Sure, they didn’t live together, _yet._ They did spend the night at one or the other’s all the time, and it just felt strangely quiet. Peter Junior was also complaining a bit too, or “Meat n’ Potatoes” as Wade likes to call it, but there’s _no fucking way_ he’s calling it that.

So here Peter was, sitting on his bed and talking to Wade. While he’s god-know-where.

“It was so fuckin’ crazy Petey I’m tellin’ you, I dropped in there, all sexy ‘n shit and was like ‘fuck you bitches!’ and I looked so sexy, I know it. I didn’t even kill those mother fuckers even though the tried to kill me which is totally unfair logic, but just for you, I let it slide. So anywho, back to my amazing and LEGIT story. I knocked all those douche-canoes out! Like pistol whippin’ them n’ shit. It was like that one kingsman scene, but I didn’t kill anyone and I have two eyes and I’m not British. Even though Harry was good in Mama Mia.” He could practically hear the hand movements that Wade was probably making, he could even be doing the fighting moves while talking, who fucking knows.

“You know that’s not his actual name, right?” Peter interjected.

“Look, everyone besides Meryl will forever be known as their Mama Mia characters, it’s really not negotiable.”

“Fair.” There was a silence, Peter not knowing what else to say. Besides what was on his mind right now.

“I miss you,”

“Only two more days, then I’m all yours.”

“Two days… Just, No more jobs, please. Wade, I… I get worried about you.” Peter hesitated, not really wanting to hurt Wade’s feelings.

“It’s all good Petey, I’ve haven’t even gotten that injured! I’ve only died like once. Though, I did lose my arm today. It’s all good though! It’s healed- well, _healing._ ”

“What! No, ugh. Don’t you see how fucked up that is? To think that that’s okay?” Peter spat out before fucking using that smart brain of his, and his eyes widened when he heard his own word processed in his head. There was a silence that carried a message over the phone that basically meant _“you fucked up Peter nice fucking job._ ” Okay, maybe he was just saying that to himself.

“Well, fucking news flash Peter. I’m pretty fucked up.” Wade said cold and calculating, using the voice he uses when Tony-fucking-stark calls him “crazy”, rightly so. _Great Parker, you’re as fucking rude as Tony dickless Stark._ Boyfriend _of the year award goes to you, right next to Chris Brown and Tiger Woods._

“That’s not what I-” He tries to defend himself because that really _isn’t what he meant,_ when Wade cuts him off.

“Save it. You do know that you pull the same shit as I do? You go out every fucking night and fight baddies. You can’t come back from a leg getting chopped off, or being shot in the fucking head. But I still let you go out, because it’s what you love.” Wade spat it, and you could practically feel the hurt from the phone. And Peter now not only feels like a grade-a-fucking douchebag but also hypocrite.

‘Well, shit.” he felt speechless.

“Yeah.” Wade breathed.

“I didn’t see it like that. I guess I kind of am being a douchebag right now.” Peter awkwardly laughed and cringed at himself. Why am I like this, exactly?

  
“A little bit Petey-pie.” Wade laughed,

“I love you.”

“I love you too. I got to go baby boy, gotta get sleep for tomorrow.”

“Two days, Wade.”

“Two days.”  
-

When the first of April rolled around, Peter didn’t really know what to expect. _Getting robbed_ wasn’t one of them. He woke up by himself, Wade had opted to “stay over” at the Avengers Tower to put in some pranks. ( _“You’re literally breaking in,” “What are they gonna do, arrest me!” “Yes!”_ )

It all started when he got and brushed his teeth going into his kitchen to start making some breakfast, and when he came out of his room, his toothbrush dropped to the floor. Every. Thing. Was _gone._

His tv, his couch, his table, hell they even took the spiderman mug that Wade got him. At first, he was speechless, then everything set in.

“What the- fuck? Oh my god, shit! Dick motherfucker! How did this even happen-.” he then started fucking crying, the tears falling down his cheeks, _everything was gone_. His room being the only thing untouched, thank god. Then he did the one thing he does every time he’s freaking out.

He called Wade.

It had seemed to ring forever, the tone being a numbing in his ears.

“Hello?”

“Wade,” the tears started to flow, “What’s wrong baby boy.”

“ _I got fuckin robbed_ , I don’t know what to do, they took everything. I don’t even know how they did it- just _everything._ My room was the only thing untouched.”

“I’m coming over.”

Then Wade literally teleported into his now empty living room and engulfed him in his arms. When he stepped back, he had an awkward smile on his face, holding up a set of keys.

“April fools?”

So, naturally, Peter decked him in the face.

“You asshole!” Wade scrambled up, frantic

“I’m sorry! This was my way of asking you to move in with me? The boxes told me it would be a good idea!”

“When in the _ever-loving fuck_ have they ever been right?!”

“Oops?” Peter pulls him in for a long kiss, Wade was at first from it but quickly got the fucking memo and kissed back. They finally pull away and Wade shoots Peter a puzzled look,

“Uh, I thought you were mad at me?”

“I thought you were still asking me to move in with you?” Peter gave a coy smile at him because he knew he’d won. He got to do the thing that he had wanted to do ever since he met him, punch him _square in the face._ It was an added bonus that he got to kiss him _and_ they were moving in together. He couldn't even tell you how long he’d been waiting for this.

“So that’s a yes…?” Wade asked an “eyebrow” (without the hair) raised accompanied with it. Peter buried his head in the crook of Wade’s neck,

“Yes, you fucking douchebag. Let’s ice your eye.” Peter pulls away and drags him towards the kitchen, using his Infamous spidey strength (eyebrow waggles needed) to lift Wade onto his counter. He quickly pecks him and grabs an ice pack. He placed it against Wade’s very prominent cheekbone, a _little harder_ than he might have needed too, but revenge was a dish best served _frozen._

“Ow. It’s going to heal, you know that right?” Wade says, hissing at the cold contact. Pussy.

“Yeah, but you deserve some ice to the face right now,” Peter says and presses just a little harder, which warrants another hiss from Wade.

“Touche,” Wade says, swatting the ice away, and kissing Peter. They were moving in together, this was real. This was fucking happening and Wade is still astounded that Peter even shows any interest in him. No matter what the boxes say, this is the reality.

Lucky, the process of moving the furniture didn’t take so long. However to this day Peter still doesn’t know how he got all of his stuff into their apartment without him noticing, but he was too happy to ask.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow! so, I'm done (?), I know on tumblr I said I was splitting chapter 4 into two parts because it would take so damn long to finish and I'm going on vacation for a week. But I kind of changed my mind. But, I'm willing to make this a series with drabbles n shit, if you want. I think there's enough cheese in this one fic. So.
> 
> This chapter kinda sucked the life out of me. But I really hope you enjoy, I worked like super duper hard on this one.
> 
> But anyway! Thanks to the people who supported me through this. I know this fic isn't even that popular or even good, I still appreciate yall. I'm trying and hopefully improving.
> 
> So, PLEASE!! send me prompts here in the comments or in an ask on tumblr. I post actual updates there.
> 
> DittyWitty
> 
> Thank you so much for reading this, seriously.


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